Mema ~ World's Greatest Grandmother

Today has been a rough day for me. Twenty One years ago today my grandmother passed away. It was the moment I literally had dreaded my entire life. She was more than my grandmother, she was my second mom, my best friend, my cheerleader, the person whose eyes lit up when I walked into the room. She was the grandmother every little girl should have. Not because she was perfect, but because she loved me with her whole heart!

My grandmother and I on the day of my baptism July 1961

Try as I might, I just can't find the words to describe her. She was strong, yet vulnerable in a way that no one really knew. She was funny, smart, talented, hardworking, loving, giving, these are all adjectives that describe her, yet don't really say who she was.

She was truly my hero. Without her, I literally might not be here. My mom got pregnant with me in the Fall of 1960. This was not acceptable back then. She lived in Rhode Island with her dad. My grandmother, her mother, lived in California with my mom's step-dad. Although legally he was a step, he was, in every way, her father and my grandfather. When my maternal grandfather learned of her pregnancy he told my mom that he was going to have the church take me away. That's what they did back then. The church took the babies of unwed moms and put them away somewhere. (Some of them from that area of the country were put into homes for the severely retarded, even though they weren't retarded, in Canada. Although we didn't find that out until the mid 90's)

My Grandmother (Mema), Grandfather (Pa) and I at the church July 1961

Anyway, when my mother learned that I would be taken from her, she was distraught and went to my Aunt Florence who was my grandmother's sister. It was my Aunt Florence who told my mom to call my grandmother. Her words to my mom were, "Call your mom, she won't let anyone take your baby!" So my mom called her mother, who was 3700 miles away and told her the situation and my grandmother said, "You come out here, no one is going to take your baby away from you!" And that is how it came to be that I am here to share this story. That I am here to have my children. If not for her, I might very well have ended up in one of those homes where they hid the children of unwed mothers.

My Mom, Me, Mema, Aunt Florence and Gloria, Aunt Florence's daughter RI 1966

I didn't find out any of this story until a couple of days after my grandmother passed away. At that time my Aunt Florence and my Mom were talking about her and the story was told. She had always been my hero, but now even more so. Imagine the bravery of these women to take a stand for me like that! Thanks to my Aunt Florence, my Grandmother and Grandfather (Pa) and the bravery of my mom to get on a plane and leave everyone and everything she knew to cross the country to keep me, here I am.

When I was born the nurses wouldn't let my mom see me. They assumed that since she was single I would be placed for adoption and so they refused to allow her to see me. When my grandmother came to the hospital she found my mom crying, when she found out what was going on she stormed out to the nurse's station and demanded they bring me to my mother! She told them, "She didn't come all the way across the country to have her baby kept away from her, bring her baby to her now!!"

Mema was also the person who quit her job to stay home with me when I ran away from daycare. Yes, I really did. One day my mom left me at daycare and when she stopped at a stop sign a couple of blocks away she happened to look in her rear-view mirror and see me running after her down the street. My grandmother quit her job and stayed home to take care of me.

Before I ever went to daycare/preschool, my grandmother was the one who taught me my alphabet, how to count, how to write in handwriting, how to read. Her and I would sit at my chalkboard and she would show me everything I wanted to know. I loved learning and she was eager to teach me.

Her and I watched cartoons together, watched Bewitched and The Flying Nun every single Thursday night, ate hot fudge sundaes when it was freezing cold out while my grandfather laughed at us shivering while we ate our ice cream. I was their little princess, their pumpkin, the light of their life. And they were the light of mine!

They took me camping, took me across the country on car trips, made my childhood a fantasy land. Built me a playhouse, got me my first dog, and my first rabbit. Built me a special bedroom with childsize closets and a huge desk that spanned the entire room.

After my grandfather passed away at the much too young age of 49, my grandmother and I became traveling buddies and best friends. We had sleepovers and traveled together. The phone call I received that morning of January 22, 1993 was the call I had spent my life dreading. The pain is still there. But the saying, don't be sad that it's over, be happy that it happened is so true. Yes, I am sad that she is gone. But having her love was worth the hurt. I am thankful for her love and the influence she had on my life. I will always be thankful for what she brought to my life. I was a lucky little girl who was loved just the way every little girl should be, who had a magical beginning to life that helped see me through the tough times. She was my grandmother, my best friend, and my hero.

Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy

 

The other day I was watching The Partridge Family because, well what else is there to do in the middle of the hot day when you're STILL recovering from surgery, and well, because I like it.

The episode was "A Knight In Shining Armor" from 1971 in which Bobby Sherman guest starred as Bobby Conway, a musician who had hitchhiked to the Partridge's home town to try to get them to help him get his music published. This episode was the springboard for Bobby's series, "Getting Together" with Wes Stern, who was also featured in this episode.

 

Well, I remembered back to the first time I saw this episode as a young girl of about 9. I thought I was in heaven! Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy sharing the screen!! I "could feel my heartbeat" when they didn't even say a word! (Sorry, I couldn't resist the pun.)

You see, I was deeply, madly, completely in love with Bobby Sherman, and with David Cassidy! (And with Donny Osmond. But I digress.) I was certain that if I were ever lucky enough to meet one of them they would see that I was the one for them and would sweep me off my feet and marry me! Lofty dreams for a 9 year old, but I knew it in my very deepest being, I was meant for one of them!

I drifted back in time to my days as an avid fan who collected every issue of Tiger Beat and 16 magazines! I entered every contest trying to meet the objects of my, rather fickle, affection. My thoughts landed on the day I was excitedly sharing with my friend Joann that I was entering a contest to win a date with David Cassidy! I was in the middle of telling her how after we went on our date David would fall madly, head over heals in love with me, realize that I was not like all the other fans, that I was his souldmate, and marry me. In the middle of my dream, Joann's older sister Melody, (who was 4 years older than us), piped up and chastised me with, "Do you really think that David Cassidy would be interested in a little kid like you? He wants someone older, like me." What did she just call me? A "Little kid"!! My spirit was crushed! Obviously she was completely unaware that I was David's soulmate! (Or Bobby's) But this day, my whole heart was focused on David Cassidy and the new contest that was going to bring my soulmate and I together so we could live happily ever after.

Well, obviously I never won that contest, didn't meet David or ride off into the sunset with him. My crushed spirit recovered, as did my slightly broken heart when he went on to marry Kay Lenz. I went on to being a super fan of most major teen idols until my late teens. Well actually until I was almost married when I was forced to remove my shrine to Leif Garrett that covered every inch of my room, (including the ceiling), having replaced Shaun Cassidy, who had replaced Tony Defranco, who had shared my walls with Bobby Sherman, David Cassidy and Donny Osmond. I sure hope I didn't miss anyone, I would hate to bruise the feelings of any of my former heart-throbs.

Of course today I am happy as can be that I never managed to win one of those contests that I was certain was the key to my "Happily Ever After". Thrilled that I never met one of my "heart-throbs and swept them off their feet. Because a few years later I met my real life, "Knight In Shining Armor" and he swept me off my feet, married me and we are now in the midst of living our happily ever after! Bonus for me, he is so much more handsome than any of those teen idols. Definitely one of those, Thank God for unanswered prayers situations. God sure knows what He's doing and thankfully His will outdid mine. :-)

But those long buried memories brought back a smile to my face, and a giggle. The simple, silly things of childhood that I wanted to share with my kids as a little glimpse at the little girl who grew up to be their mom.

Love you all,

Mom aka Colleen

 

 

The Beauty of Friendship

The beautiful roses Peggy brought me.

Yesterday I was treated to a visit from one of my lifelong friends! I call her my sister of my heart. We literally can't remember a time when we weren't friends because we have been friends since we were very little. Neither of us can remember how young we have memories of playing together as young as 3 or younger. The best thing about a friend that you have known your whole life is that no matter how long it is between visits, you just pick right up where you left off. We have seen each other through it all. The births of our children, the deaths of loved ones, our weddings, life, love, loss, grandchildren. We really are the epitome of, for better or worse, in sickness and health. 

Our children laugh at us when we're together because we literally finish each other's sentences. One of us will begin a story with two words and we will both break out in hysterical laughter causing everyone else to cry out, what's so funny?! They've grown accustomed to it now, but it used to drive them crazy. We've shared so much of life together. So many laughs, so many tears, so many adventures! Sometimes we marvel at how we survived it all, but we're thankful we did. 

An Introduction and a Tribute

I am starting this blog mostly because of my dear friend Betty who is a country gal who became a city woman. I was a city gal who became a country woman.

You can find Betty's blog at http://www.countrygalcitywoman.blogspot.com

While reading her blog it often occurred to me the irony of it, so to pay tribute to her, I decided to go ahead and start this blog.

So, it is only fitting that I begin my blog with a link to my tribute to my dear friend Betty.

http://craftilady.blogspot.com/2013/06/tribute-tuesday-betty-derry.html

At this point I am a combination of a city/country woman, but who knows what the future holds. I still may make it to my dream of becoming a country woman yet. :-)

Have a wonderful day!
Colleen